The real genius of this column is that I control my own movie-watching destiny. Unlike the real working stiffs (critics) who must subject themselves to the roses and the thorns every single week, the Reel Deal singles out the box-office releases and rentals of my choosing.
Not necessarily the latest or the greatest, it's the flicks I feature are as random as I’d like them to be.
I may close my eyes, wag my finger in a circular motion and drop it on the newspaper theater listings. Or grab the first thing I see on the shelf at my local Blockbuster. Or leave my DVD pick in the hands of Netflix.
But, for the most part, I won’t, without a good excuse, waste my time on a movie I expect will be a stinker.
I’d be perfectly content to review only good movies for as long as this column lasts.
And so I’ve got to blame this week’s big-screen bust on a good friend who picked it out of an admittedly lackluster lineup.
Thanks, Jerry!
AT A THEATER NEAR YOU …
“Brooklyn’s Finest” these guys ain’t. At least, you’ve gotta hope not.
Contrary to the title of this latest release from “Training Day” director Antoine Fuqua, these cops are lousy.
It’s hard, in fact, to tell them from the crooks.
The film follows a few days on the beat with an undercover cop suffering an identity crisis (Don Cheadle), a narc looking to pad his own pockets with drug money so he can buy his pregnant wife and kids a new home (Ethan Hawke) and a tired, soon-to-be-retired badge-wearer (Richard Gere) who gets saddled with a couple of wet-behind-the-ears rookies.
I get the whole “flawed hero” thing. Nobody’s perfect. But this film quickly quashes – punishes, even – any sense of righteousness: Do what’s right, get done in.
Oddly enough, it was Hawke who provided the balance of good to Denzel Washington’s bad in “Training Day.” In “Finest,” he’s the worst of the bunch.
Eddie (Gere) has gotten his 20 years in by keeping his head down and looking the other way. He’s no hero, doesn’t care to be.
“Don’t you want to do something useful with your last two minutes on the job?”
“Not really,” he responds.
One doesn’t get the sense Eddie was ever a good cop. But some time with a couple of doe-eyed, fresh-out-of-the-academy foot soldiers, the clink of his badge as it lands in a box of discarded brass and the rejection of his prostitute girlfriend spark something in this long-time loser in the not-so-thrilling “Finest” finale.
On the same night, in the same part of town, the storylines of Tango (Cheadle) and Sal (Hawke) come crashing to a conclusion that you’ll see coming from a mile away.
Cheadle (whose past work has included “Out of Sight,” “Traffic,” “Crash” and “Hotel Rwanda”) has earned my respect.
Immersed in a world of drugs and death, his character, Tango, starts to lose his sense of self. His loyalties are torn between the badge (and the desk job he pines for) and a dealer who saved his life once (Wesley Snipes, in his return to the A-list).
Tango’s years-long undercover stint included a prison sentence. And now, as he starts to see light at the end of this tunnel, his wife has filed for a divorce.
This story, with the proper emphasis, might have made a better film all on its own.
Alas, it’s just the finest part of an otherwise drab and dull flick.
ON DVD
It’s not hard to imagine a world where people are so “plugged in” that they lose track of all of the connections that make us human.
Not in the age of Facebook, in which we find, make and interact with friends all without leaving the glow of our computer monitors and mobile devices.
At this moment, there are likely some people who only know it’s sunny outside because it says so in a friend’s status update.
Recently released on DVD, “Surrogates” takes this virtual existence into the realm of extreme, implausible science fiction.
The first few minutes take us on an evolutionary leap – as an idealistic inventor (played by James Cromwell) unveils a new technology that allows people to plug into robotic versions of themselves and control them remotely from the confines of home, experiencing all of the exciting and mundane rituals of daily life through “surrogacy.”
It’s usefulness spans military applications, extreme sports and gender-confusion therapy. The robots allow their users to run wild, without fear of injury or death. And yet, we’re led to believe, the crime rate in this new, brave world is suddenly non-existent. It’s one of multiple leaps the viewer must take, and why it’s called “sci-fi.”
Of course, not everyone subscribes to this new ideal. A resistance group led by a dreadlocked Ving Rhames (and thus fittingly referred to as the “Dreads”) wants to unplug humanity.
Bruce Willis plays a police detective (Tom Greer), whose job must’ve been pretty boring before a non-Surrogate “meat bag” wields a weapon that can fry both the robot’s circuit boards and its user’s brain. This, of course, goes against everything the “Surrogates” stand for.
Greer and his wife, numb to the real world since the tragic loss of their son in a car accident, have found solace in their Surrogates.
Like 99 percent of the population, their bodies lie still, wrapped in bathrobes and PJs, hooked to a computer while their Surrogate selves venture out into the world. When the robots recharge, the humans wake to eat, drink and, one assumes, take bathroom breaks.
Before long, the detective is forced to fight this recent rash of robot crime in the flesh, and starts to realize what he and everyone else have been missing.
The movie is based on a graphic novel, which really is just a fancy way to say comic book. But don’t disrespect the comic arts – there are some really smart, layered stories in those brightly colored panels; and in the right hand, they make darn good movies.
Unlike the plastic-perfect personas of the film, “Surrogates” isn’t without its flaws, but I thought the concept was pretty cool.
Plug in for some good sci-fi, fantasy fun.
TRAILER TIME: 'IRON MAN 2'
How could I possibly ignore the new trailer for “Iron Man 2” this week?
It’s got it all: Robert Downey Jr., back as cocky millionaire weapons-maker Tony Stark and hero alter-ego Iron Man. Don Cheadle donning the War Machine armor as his sidekick. Mickey Rourke as a tattoo’d, whip-slinging madman. Evil mogul Sam Rockwell pulling his strings. Vixens. Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson. Sam Jackson in an eyepatch.
And, the last thrilling minute of this 2:27 trailer, a suitcase that goes full-robot.
Needless to say, I can’t wait for this to hit the big screen – hard – on May 7.
Robert McCune is editor of The Independent in Massillon, Ohio. Contact him at Robert.McCune@IndeOnline.com or call 330-775-1124 for more information.
