Q&A with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

David Hoover

The ultimate interview during this time of the year is with someone who has first-hand experience with Christmas. I traveled to the tip of the North Pole in search of the one who saved Christmas so long ago.

This interview takes place Christmas Eve, just a few short hours before Santa and his reindeer take flight.

Rudolph is denoted with the R and reporter David Hoover is denoted with the D.

D: So, Rudolph, how old are you?

R: Well, David, I am forever young in the hearts and minds of all those who believe in me.

D: Now Rudolph, I know you didn't get along with the other reindeer at first, but after getting to know them, who is your favorite?

R: My father, Donner, of course. We may have had our differences before my nose turned out to be helpful, but I always knew he loved me. All fathers are heroes, you know.

D: When Santa asked you to lead the sleigh, did Dasher and Dancer get jealous?

R: Well … maybe a little. It was ironic that growing up they had always knocked on me for my nose, but hey, the nose saved Christmas. No one could argue that.

D: What type of reindeer games were you not allowed to play?

R: They wouldn't let me play Monopoly of course, but that's only because they knew I would win. I'm also pretty good at Texas Hold'em, pin the tail on Comet, and Tiger Wood's golf for Nintendo Wii.

D: Does flying around the world, delivering toys year after year get old to you or any of the other reindeer?

R: Absolutely not! It's really not work to us anyway. The big guy is very considerate too; we're fed well and the sleigh isn't that heavy.

D: What do reindeer eat anyway?

R: We eat all sorts of things, but what makes us fly is the magical quality of the lemonade springs that flow freely at the North Pole.

D: May I try some?

R: Sure, but you might float away.

D: I'll pass then.

R: Your loss.

D: What is Santa Claus like?

R: He's the sweetest guy! He has a heart of gold, and that man can eat cookies and drink milk like there's no tomorrow. We couldn't ask for a better boss.

D: Is your nose real?

R: People have accused me of it being fake, but it's real. It's been that way since I can remember.

D: How hot does your nose get?

R: It's not hot at all, honestly, it's environmentally friendly with low wattage. There is no danger, I promise.

D: How is your relationship with Clarice?

R: We've had our ups and downs, but now our relationship is sky high. No pun intended.

D:  What was the initial emotion you went through when Santa said, “Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?”

R: I was overwhelmed with joy. My nose started shining brighter and brighter and I thought it was going to burn out, but then I calmed down.

D: Well Rudolph, I know you have a busy night ahead of you so I will let you get to it. Just one last question.

R: Sure.

D: Can you tell me if I'm on Santa's nice list or naughty list?

R: David, I can't give you that information. That would violate the reindeer code of ethics. I guess you'll just have to wait and see tomorrow if you were naughty or nice.

D: Darn. Thanks for taking the time to speak with me, Rudolph. Have a safe journey and Merry Christmas!

R: You as well, David. See you later.

Carthage Press