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Bob Sneller: A bit of whimsy ... and the weather

Bob Sneller

I am in a whimsical mood. Maybe it’s the weather, which as you know has become very whimsical.

Just in case you don’t know, whimsical here means “subject to sudden change; unpredictable.”

The other day, while getting some exercise on the walking trail at a beautiful local park, I ran into a former colleague, John Willson.

I guess I should have said I “walked” into him. John was sitting on a bench, and I was walking, much like Big Brown at Belmont.

John, who spells his last name with two l’s but is otherwise very sharp with words, was the catcher and I was the pitcher for the Crowder College very slow pitch faculty softball team. We were pretty good, as far as faculty athletic teams go, which isn’t very far. But we did have lots of team spirit and lots of fun.

John said he reads my column and even offered this nugget about our collector.

JOHN: Do you know what Jim Otey eats for breakfast?

ME: No.

JOHN: Oteymeal.

Here is some potential help for you readers who struggle with objective and nominative case pronouns.

QUESTION: How do you know whether it should be “She gave an apple apiece to Fred and I” or “She gave an apple apiece to Fred and me”?

ANSWER: Ask Fred.

June is a month when many people get married.

Here’s some advice to all you newlyweds.

A successful marriage is when two people become like one. The key is to not argue over WHICH one.

I don’t argue with The Good Wife because I don’t like to interrupt.

On the subject of matrimony, why is a room full of married people the same as an empty room? Because in neither room is a single person.

The Good Wife had a birthday this week. I am not so dumb that I am going to reveal her age. Let’s just say the candles cost more than the cake did.

The other day, our little great-grandson came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

GREAT GRANDSON: Grandpa, would you please make a noise like a frog?

ME: Why do you want me to do that?

GREAT GRANDSON: Because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we can all go on vacation to Colorado.

Neosho Daily News