Bob Sneller: The silly side of the creek
The other morning while I was sipping my prune juice, it occurred to me that you don’t hear people talk about “saving for a rainy day” anymore.
There are just too many rainy days and very little savings that have combined to put this saying in limbo.
If you are a driver who favors conserving gasoline and lowering the price of gas, please raise your right foot.
So now the days are getting hotter and shorter again. Yesterday was only 22 hours and 46 minutes long.
I noticed long ago while teaching school that Mondays were longer than Fridays.
Days are so short over in London that they have to start tennis at Wimbledon at 6 a.m. in order to get it all in.
As you can see, I’m bobbin’ along on the silly side of the creek without a paddle this week with some “viewpoints.”
The perfect name for the St. Louis Cardinals closer is Izzy, as in izzy going to get them out or izn’t he?
How about baseball in Chicago this summer, where the Cubs and the White Sox lead their respective divisions!? The Cubs are managed by Sweet Lou and the Sox are led by fiery Ozzie the Terrible. Makes for a very interesting summer in the Windy City.
Meanwhile, Kansas City still has lots of fountains.
Some people are able to predict the future. The guy who planned for Washington, D.C., to be laid out in circles must have known that many of the people there would just go around in circles.
The other day, my wise-cracking waitress and I had this conversation:
WAITRESS: Would you care for dessert?
ME: What are the choices?
WAITRESS: Yes and no.
If a policeman pulls you over for speeding and says he has been waiting for you, don’t say, “I got here as fast as I could.”
By the time we realize that our parents were usually right about most things, we have children who think we are usually wrong about most things.
A little girl in Sunday school class wrote the following letter to God:
It must be very hard for you to love everybody in the whole world. There are only four of us in our family, and I sure can’t do it.
The Good Wife and I were seated in a restaurant around closing time the other evening when I spotted an elderly couple seated at the far end of the dining room.
ME: Jan, do you see that couple over there? That’s probably what we’ll look like in about 10 years or so.
JAN: Bob, that’s a MIRROR down there.
This actual exchange between an airline pilot and a control tower operator took place recently in San Jose.
The plane had come in too fast for a landing and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down.
TOWER: American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway if you are able.
If you are NOT able, then take the Guadeloupe Exit off Highway 101, make a right at the stoplight and return to the airport.
If only life were like a computer, where you could press the “delete” button and start anew.
If you lost something, you could push the “find” button. But wouldn’t we soon wear out the “help” key?
Neosho Daily News