Peter Chianca: Hey baby, want to see my bumper?

Peter Chianca

Having been happily married for 11 years, there are many reasons I’m glad to be out of the dating world. For one thing, I no longer have the energy to spend months pretending that I’m interesting. But besides that, I don’t have to worry about the new report from, in which “dating expert” DeAnna Lorraine talks about men’s cars and the types of women they attract.

According to Lorraine, a man’s car “may determine a woman’s attraction to him.” So there’s really no explaining my wife, who dated me despite the fact that, at the time, I was driving a 1990 Ford Tempo with broken air conditioning and two windows stuck in the “up” position. (In fact, early on we had to drive home three hours from New York on a 90-degree day. When she didn’t immediately leave me for someone who drove a car with working air conditioning, I knew she was The One.)

But for most couples, the car the man drives is apparently more important, as outlined in this rundown of the most popular leased vehicles men drive:

1.) Chevy Suburban: According to the report, men who drive these like travel and adventure, which would explain why this was the car driven by Indiana Jones. Wait, my mistake, that was a stolen Nazi truck, or possibly a horse. Regardless, Lorraine says they attract women who are “family-oriented” — but ladies, if you meet a single guy who’s driving a Chevy Suburban, be careful, since he’s probably already got a wife and kids, probably somewhere in the hatch area.

2.) Mercedes S-Class: Lorraine says these cars tend to attract sophisticated women “that are in their late 30s and 40s.” This would explain why you don’t see many Mercedes driven by guys in their 20s. That, and the fact that when 20-somethings enter a Mercedes dealership, they are immediately tackled by security.

No, according to the report, these cars are popular with “Sugar Daddies,” presumably rich men in their 60s and 70s who need women in their 30s and 40s to help them turn their blinkers off. Yes, that’s what they’re calling it these days.

3.) Ford F-150: The report says that men who drive these “tend to be insecure and overcompensate on a tough, macho level,” but that’s not necessarily true. For instance, you might really need one if you ever have to move a pool table, or a refrigerator full of beer, or the carcass of a deer you just ran over with your Ford F-150. All I know is, when I inquired about buying one of these, the salesman just took my lunch money and gave me noogies.

4.) Corvette: Men trying to display their “wild side” are supposedly partial to Corvettes — sort of like that Jon Krakauer book “Into The Wild,” if you replaced the Alaskan wilderness with mullets and purple neon under-lighting.

Regardless, they must be doing something right: According to Lorraine, Corvettes attract women who “are typically ‘hot,’ bad girls … that are impulsive, wild and rebellious.” Although if you think about it, if they were really rebellious, they’d say to hell with what all the other bad girls are doing and date a guy who drives a Ford Tempo.

5.) Toyota Camry: The report says men who drive these are “solid, reliable and committed,” and they attract women who are “sweet, levelheaded, uncomplicated and undemanding.” In other words, if you want to find a partner as boring as you are, get a Camry and drive right over to the garden department of Home Depot, where you can buy a potted plant.

I realize it’s a daunting choice, given that your choice of car may affect your ability to find a woman shallow enough to date you. But since conducted this study, I’m thinking that no matter which car you get, if you really want to attract women you should plan to lease it.

There’s nothing women like more than a guy who’s afraid of commitment.

Peter Chianca is a CNC managing editor and the brains behind “The At Large Blog” ( and “The Shorelines Blog” ( To receive At Large by e-mail, write to, with the subject line “SUBSCRIBE.”