Gary Brown: Who's the best fictional president?

Gary Brown

I’m not going to agree with much of what I’m about to write. Apparently, one of the best presidents ever was a guy by the name of President Lindberg, a cross-eyed character played by Tommy “Tiny” Lister -- a pro wrestler. President Lindberg was the head of the United Federation of 2263 in “The Fifth Element.”

I was thinking Lincoln or Washington, or maybe Bill Pullman’s President Thomas Whitmore in “Independence Day,” but the people at – the online film lovers’ site -- think President Lindberg is 10th on the list of “The 10 Coolest Film Presidents” in film history.

The other 9

9. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Terry  Crews) from “Idiocracy.” “Is it stupid to elect a man with an awesome chopper?” asks

8. President Devlin (George Clooney) from “Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over.”

7. President James Dale (Jack Nicholson) from “Mars Attacks!” “If there’s one actor even cooler than Clooney, it’s Jack Nicholson.”

6. President Joseph Staton (Dennis Quaid) from “American Dreamz.”

5. President George W. Bush (James Adomian) from “Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.”

4. President James Marshall (Harrison Ford) from “Air Force One.”

3. President Thomas “Tug” Benson (Lloyd Bridges) from “Hot Shots! Part Deux.” With a shell the size of his fist lodged in his head, “he’s not too bright these days.”

2. President Mays Gilliam (Chris Rock) from “Head of State.”

1. President Max Frost (Christopher Jones) from “Wild in the Streets.”

Personal preferences

I know it’s just one Web site’s opinion, but I can’t agree with that list. No mention is made of President Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) – think “democracy is advanced citizenship” -- from “American President.”

Absent from the list is President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) from “Dr. Strangelove.”

Unrecognized are both Monroe “Eagle” Cole (Gene Hackman) from “Mooseport” and President Alan Richman (Gene Hackman, too) from “Absolute Power.”

And there is no mention of the movie “My Fellow Americans,” which offered three presidents: President Russell P. Kramer (Jack Lemmon), President Matt Douglas (James Garner) and President William Haney (Dan Ackroyd). Sure it’s a one-star movie. But how many stars would you give most presidents?

For that matter, there was no mention of my favorite president, President Bill Mitchell (Kevin Kline) from “Dave.” I liked the decent and honest stand-in President Mitchell, of course, not the hateful and dishonest actual President Mitchell.

“I’d like to apologize to the American people,” the stand-in President Mitchell says in his final speech. “You see, I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you, and it was just a temp job.”

Candidates could take a lesson from the stand-in President Mitchell. On film or for real, it’s just a temp job.

Canton Repository