Loretta LaRoche: If you think you have control, you’re delusional

Loretta LaRoche

After months of planning, the big day arrived. I was standing on the stage at the Duxbury Performing Arts Center, with a magnificent set design behind me and more than a thousand people in my audience.

Many of the audience members had traveled from out of state to be part of my new PBS special. I had done everything I could to prepare, including several nights of ruminating over the content and whether it was going to be received well. I am very adept at going over and over things, especially in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, the stuff my mind likes to chew on is not how delicious my last meal was, but rather how I might get heartburn from it.

The mind is insidious and loves to inform us of any fears we might have.

My inner obnoxious roommate likes to wake me up around 2:30 a.m. I go back to sleep after a bit, but this seems to have become a ritual since I went through menopause.

Well, all the preparing in the world did not prepare me for the sound of a fire alarm penetrating the auditorium as I was about to start my second act.

At first, I thought, “This is a joke, right?”

It was no joke. There was a problem and the fire trucks came and we all had to evacuate the building. Thank God it was not serious, and no one was hurt.

However, as I exited the building I felt that I was in one of Rod Serling’s “Twilight Zone” episodes.

In fact, it took days for me to realize I was not in a dream, and that we would have to re-shoot the show. Many people have e-mailed me with supportive, loving messages, primarily saying that “things happen for a reason.”

Well, for me what it validated once again is that if you think you have control over anything, you’re delusional.

Life can change in the blink of an eye, so keep your eye on the prize, but remember that it could end up being the booby prize.

Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth 02360, send e-mail to getalife@loretta- laroche.com, visit the Web site www.stressed.com, or call toll-free 800-99-TADAH (82324).