Haines, My Way: You can be better than that

Rebecca Haines

Sometimes I care so much about people, they make me frustrated when I know they’re capable of being better.

Let’s say “Bob” is someone I care about. There are times when Bob wants to blame others for everything that’s going wrong in his life. When really, the only person he has to blame is himself.

After putting so much blame on others, it has blinded Bob of those around him who are actually trying to help him. People who have put their necks on the line, have been pushed aside and even pushed away. This was a good technique for Bob if he wanted to lose friends.

Bob now thinks the world is out to get him. He is so wrapped up in his own realm that he really thinks everyone has nothing better to do than to make him suffer. When really everybody is in the same boat. Bob has lost focus and fallen overboard, and will anyone be around to help him?

You know that saying, “you are your own worst enemy,” it is so true. You make yourself what you want to be. Sure your surroundings may have an influence on you, but that’s only one factor in everything you are. And the people around you may have an affect on your personality, but a weak person lets others control them.

I’m guilty of that.

When someone is nasty to me, it feels natural to dish it right back. But if I do, afterward I feel angry at myself because I let that person control my emotions.

I start to rant on people like Bob who make me frustrated, when all it is, is that I’m let down by people I thought were strong, confident and a lot more of what I want to be.

So when I see Bob, someone I looked up to in one way or another, get down about life, it’s aggravating, devastating and downright infuriating to me. Even though I’ve told myself not to admire people because they’ve let me down, I still do it. I find someone I admire, then when their flaws inevitably seep out, I feel let down.

The thing is there are characteristics of people, like Bob, I admire, and I try to build on that. All that confidence and strength I admire so much will eventually find its way into my soul, hopefully. And then I won’t have to look to someone else for strength.

I’ll be able to state my opinions without worrying about what others think of them. I’ll be able to not feel physically sick to my stomach when someone tries to put me down. I’ll be able to be that person I’ve always wanted to be; strong, confident, smart and fun.

Carthage Press