FRANK TALK: Singing Thanksgiving’s praises
A society needs its unwritten rules.
Well, one has been broken recently and, as a society, we need to address this violation.
This unwritten law, codified by time-honored practice rather than the prattling of lawmakers, was simply this:
“No Christmas jingles on the radio or in stores until after Thanksgiving.”
This simple yet expedient rule that enables so many of us to get through the Christmas season without doing violence to one another was brazenly disregarded in the Year of Our Lord 2012.
It seemed like just another day as I began my commute to work. I flipped on the radio and what did I hear instead of the dinosaur-era rock I prefer?
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”
It’s a mistake, I thought in desperation, an aberration. I switched to another station only to have my ears assaulted by one of the 19,000 versions of “Let it Snow.” “Oh the weather outside is frightful.”
It was 60 degrees outside.
I tried a third station and received yet another audio shock wave as “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” came billowing out of the speakers like a noxious cloud. Just what time of the year were they referring to — it was Nov. 16.
It’s not a “wonderful time of year” at all. It’s Nov. 16.
It’s not simply the fingernails-on-blackboard effect of hearing the same Christmas songs over and over again for a full six weeks, outrage though that most certainly is.
It’s also the disrespect shown to Thanksgiving, that most unassuming yet pleasurable of holidays.
Perhaps if Thanksgiving has some jingles of its own, the jingle-gap between Halloween and Christmas can be bridged and sanity can be restored to our great nation.
I offer this ditty, to the tune of “Jingle Bells,” in hopes that more accomplished lyricists will join the fray and help to combat the determined enemy that is the proliferation of pre-Thanksgiving Christmas music.
Dinner bells go ding
Oh what fun it is to eat
All the squash in sight
Oh tryptophan, tryptophan
Turkey all the day
Oh what fun it is to watch
The Lions try to play - ay
Food is all about
Stuffing’s on a tray
Buying gifts is out
Kids go out and play
Oh tryptohphan, tryptophan
Celery with cheese
Oh what fun it is to eat
All except the peas
Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media New England’s Plymouth office, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. This is a classic column, not because it’s necessarily any good but because it appeared in a prior edition.