I am just not ready

Staff Writer
Mount Shasta Herald

March 15, 2010

I am JUST not ready

Wide eyed I ponder how to respond, in business I’ve seldom faced such a predicament. In business I find my comfort zone where I am appreciated for my thoughts and compensated for my time – parenthood, not so much in either the first or second instance. I clearly wear the mask of the novice.

Since you are still reading, let me put down a few of the most recent questions posed by the two youngins: Prima, age 9 and Secondo, age 6.5. While I can tell you my answers are usually quip and involve me having to get something ‘quickly’ in the other room to avoid further awareness of my short comings and distract them as quickly as possible – feel free to imagine what your responses might have been.

PRIMA

You know how when the dog is embarrassed his ‘thing’ appears? Well does that happen to boys and girls too when they get embarrassed? Because sometimes in school I get embarrassed and that would make it way worse.

So grown-ups kiss different then how you kiss us good-night. I’ve seen it in movies but I am wondering if they will teach us that in school or at camp?

We are alike mom because we are the same gander. {Gander? What is Gander?} Gander is what girls and grown-up girls are…it is like their – S-E-X but I don’t mean the kissing kind of that word.

You know how mom’s can give their babies boobie milk? Well I have two questions: where do they hide the switch that turns it off? If the mom drinks a coffee and then the baby takes milk, will the baby get a latte?

Yes, I think I know what priceless is…it means I am for free?

SECONDO

Would you rather have $200 or clothes? Would you rather have a lifetime supply of gummy bears or be naked for all of your life? How much gold would it take you to sell me?

When Nonno died, he was in bed right? So why didn’t G.G. throw a bucket a water on him? {because when you are dead, cold water will not wake you up, it just makes you wet}

Do you think when I grow up I should first be a doctor and then a plumber? Which do you think would be best?

If eyeball juice is coming out, that does not mean I am crying. Sometimes I just have something in my eyeball. Shouldn’t you know this since you are the mom?

Do you remember Eva? You know the one that God doesn’t love anymore? Well she made some bad choices. But Jesus’ dad was magic. Not the magic you can see but the kind that you believe in. And Margarita his mom was kinda magic too and that is how she got pregnant. Did you get magically pregnant?

When I am older will I still go to the airport to get naked down to my underwear?

………I think you get the idea and if you haven’t been there yet- stay tuned, it is coming ready or not!

This is an original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog. When Gina is not talking tech or winking at a Campari she can be found cooking North of the Golden Gate Bridge or on her blog at http://www.bowllicker.com