Skyelines: Looking on the bright side
Besides the obvious inconveniences of having the flu, there are a few advantages for moms. Here is a list I compiled over the weekend, which I spent the majority of in bed in custody of Violet's iPad rewatching Season 1 of 24, admiring Keifer Sutherland.
1. When someone trespasses in your bedroom to inform you that your two year old has gotten into a jar of marshmallow creme, you can refer the problem to dad.
2. Mud tracked inside on the tile is also not your problem.
3. Neither is the screaming match you can hear taking place behind the closed bedroom door that seems to be about whether to watch Gold Rush or iCarly, and whether or not someone's feet were crossing the imaginary line on the couch.
4. You can drink unlimited Diet Sprites without feeling guilty for hogging them all.
5. It's perfectly okay to call your mom (even if she lives next door) to complain about your fever. It's merely frowned upon if you insist upon initiating a Facetime session so she can see exactly what you mean when you say you are flushed and have a temperature.
6. You don't have to share your covers/pillows with anyone because you're infected. Proper segregation must be maintained at all times.
7. Someone else can find the thermometer for you for a change.
8. When you are relaxing in the bathtub, trying to warm your core temperature, you don't have to nicely discourage people from knocking on the bathroom door. You can, in fact, snap that swimming sessions are suspended.
9. You can be impolite in general under the guise of sickness.
10. Pizza delivery! Okay, you might not get to share in the deliciousness of pepperoni and pineapple pizza, but then again, you don't have to cook AND there might be leftovers if you feel well enough to eat tomorrow.
11. Husbands will kill spiders that sit on the bedroom ceiling staring at you hungrily if you ask more than five times in a very whiny voice.
12. When you are better, your family appreciates you more. (For about an hour.) Then you notice the marshmallow creme that remains smeared on the cabinets and start to feel ill again.
Here's to no more flus this year at the Kinkade household! Fingers crossed.