Name the actor who portrayed the following: George Burnett, Chic Chesbro, Booker Brooks, Det. James Falconer and Sparky the Dog. If you guessed George Clooney, confidently adjust your finely tailored jacket.
Just when you thought it was safe, or at least worth the effort to go back to the movies, Hollywood chucks another worthless pile at unsuspecting audiences.
Last week, I introduced the two-word review for the movies I thought wouldn’t detonate on the launch pad. This week, in an unprecedented Flicks event (it’s week two, what do you expect?), I give you ALL two-word reviews.
However, in the interest of filling my allotted space, it’s Flicks quiz time.
Name the actor who portrayed the following: George Burnett, Chic Chesbro, Booker Brooks, Det. James Falconer and Sparky the Dog.
If you guessed George Clooney, confidently adjust your finely tailored jacket.
Natalie’s boyfriend? Check. Rosanne’s boss? Check. Criminal mastermind? Check, check and check. Worst Batman? Half-check. Best Bruce Wayne, worst Batman, but probably not his fault.
His choices haven’t been perfect -- “Peacemaker,” “Solaris,” “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” “Out of Sight” -- but no one’s cooler than Clooney when he’s working in his wheelhouse. And no one, except his pal Brad Pitt, can capture self-assured idiocy quite so well: see Harry Pfarrer, Dodge Connelly and Everett McGill. And frankly, there’s something to be said for someone of Clooney’s stature doing not one, but two uncredited appearances on “South Park.”
Clooney has two movies coming to theaters in the next few weeks: “The Men Who Stare at Goats” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox.”
The “Goats” trailer is better than half the stuff out this year. I still have a hard time imagining Jeff Bridges as anything but The Dude, though. There’s always a beverage here, man.
“Mr. Fox” uses an odd animation technique. It’s called stop-motion, but doesn’t seem to completely fit that description. And the cast is impressive: Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Willem Defoe ... That said, Clooney is “Mr. Fox,” sly, stylish, oh so dreamy ... maybe? Ladies? Guys? He cleans up well, looks good in a suit ... am I right?
Two-word review time!
“Michael Jackson’s: This Is It”: Doubt it.
“Gentlemen Broncos”: Steaming pile.
“The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day”: Where’s Willem?
“The House of the Devil”: Expect foreclosure.
John Meo writes for the Norwich Bulletin in Norwich, Conn.